It's always when people die that we start to remember the regrets. We think what we could have done or said differently, maybe changed some kind of outcome in the end. For the past few days, I have been plagued by regret, haunted by it. Regret has slept beside me, eaten my meals with me. I have bathed in regret, clothed myself in regret. I put regret as a concealer on my face, and hope it hides the pain.
She was my best friend growing up. It was the four of us: me, my sister...her, her sister. The four of us were unstoppable, inseparable. And then one day, we were grown up. Grown up and slowing drifted apart, but I would still remember the fun we had. Our plans to cut out the center of an old tree stump and make a trap among so many others.
And it hurts to say I wish things had been different, because we all know that they could have been, but now there's nothing we can do to change it. It hurts to say, to admit to myself that I will never have the chance to reconnect with her because she is gone now. And all I have left are the memories and the regrets.
And I don't know which is harder to live with.
I will always miss you.
She was my best friend growing up. It was the four of us: me, my sister...her, her sister. The four of us were unstoppable, inseparable. And then one day, we were grown up. Grown up and slowing drifted apart, but I would still remember the fun we had. Our plans to cut out the center of an old tree stump and make a trap among so many others.
And it hurts to say I wish things had been different, because we all know that they could have been, but now there's nothing we can do to change it. It hurts to say, to admit to myself that I will never have the chance to reconnect with her because she is gone now. And all I have left are the memories and the regrets.
And I don't know which is harder to live with.
I will always miss you.
Current Mood:
sad
sadCurrent Music: "Yesterdays" Switchfoot
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tired
accomplished
blah
hopeful