So, yesterday was fun.....I drove to Loveland and Greeley to visit family and friends and for my cousin's birthday party, only to find out my grandma is in the hospital and having a pace maker put in. WAY TO COMMUNICATE, FAMILY! Seriously, she's been in the hospital three times this week, and I'm just finding out about it because I'm calling to see if I can stop by a little early for the party. I mean, I had talked to my aunt about two weeks ago, and my grandma was in the hospital then, but they had said it was beta blockers she was taking that were causing the problems, and I hadn't heard anything since. Gah......
Other than that, it was fun. I got to talk with my aunt and cousin who I don't see nearly often enough, and find out that another aunt and cousin are flying in for the week.
Then I went back to Greeley, and found my dog, Scouty, who has brain tumors, having a seizure. That's never easy, because we know that they're getting worse, but it's really hard to know when we should have her put to sleep. She's our baby girl....and it's really not fair that she's so young and going through this. And at that point it was pretty late, and I was talking with my sister and Susan, and then I got hungry. Baby then decided she wanted fries, so we went and got fries. So, long story short, I didn't leave Greeley until almost 1 in the morning....with a good two hour drive ahead of me. I know I could have stayed the night there, but I dont' like sleeping away from my own bed, especially lately. I can barely find aywhere comfortable as it is, and she is awake from about 10 pm until 6 am anyway, so I knew I would be okay to drive. And I was. I didn't get really tired until I was searching my purse for my security card for the gate, so that was good. I literally, let the boys roam and potty while I grabbed the stuff from the trunk. We all stumbled up the stairs into the apartment, dumped everything on the floor, and crawled into bed. I woke up this morning fully dressed lol.
I kind of want to go swimming, but I don't like going swimming alone, and the boys made a mess of their toys on the carpet, so I'll probably just do some cleaning and watch more Voyager episodes until I fall asleep. I might finish a vid this afternoon, but I wouldn't hold your breath. I'm feeling so blah at the moment....and emotional for some weird reason.
Okay, so it's not for some weird reason. My hormones get all over the place when I don't sleep well, and yesterday was the first day since the events of last Monday that I actually did something. Well, except for Thursday, but I just went out to lunch with my mom and maternity clothes shopping because I couldn't fit into my pants, and was starting not to be able to fit into my shirts as well, but that wasn't more than two hours, and it wasn't strenuous at all.
I think I'm having kind of an emotional day, because I was checking my lj friends page, and my best friend (at least she used to be) had posted something, and I had forgotten she was still on my flist (even though I am no longer on hers). It was an inocuous post about her collection of BSG fics, but it really upset me. Mostly because of the way things ended. She forced me to choose between her and Eric, knowing full well that if someone forces me to choose, I don't choose the one who forces me. In the end, I guess I chose neither, but she could never forgive me....you know, because I'm human and make mistakes. Everyone does it. Even she does it. But no, I'm not allowed to. So she basically told me that a friendship that had been pretty much our entire lives, was worthless because I had made a mistake. As if I didn't already know I'd made a mistake, and as if I hadn't tried to make amends, and as if I wasn't already living with the consequences of said mistake. Hello....for the rest of my life, I will have a baby girl who is the byproduct of that very mistake. I will one day have to look her in the eyes, and tell her what her father did and who he was. If anyone thinks that is going to be easy, they need to re-evaluate. Believe me, the easy way is not the way I took. But I took the right way. But I digress....The point being, we both made mistakes in our friendship. I was always the one apologizing for things because her ego was so fragile that she never could admit a mistake. I was fine with apologizing, even if it wasn't my fault. But I just realized something....the other person I used to do that for...that was Eric. And she hated him for what he did to me....but I don't think she ever realized that she did it to me as well. I kind of feel like every time she ignores when I try to reach out to her, she says, please go die, you're not worth it. Even after all she said/did/has done to me, I would still be there for her if she called me up and said, hey. I guess loyalty is hard to find these days....
I dunno...venting never helps anymore.
Anyway, I have a pic that cheers me up whenever I see it, so I thought I'd share it. :)
Hope everyone had a good weekend! *hugs flist*
(ps, it's a girl :), her name is Kaitee Grace)